Exclusive Interview With FED Chairman Jerome Powell

After sending countless emails and direct messages, Wall Street Supply (unpaid) intern Chad Bradington was able to lock down an extremely rare and exclusive interview with Jerome Powell, the official Chairman of the Federal Reserve. We asked Jerome to meet us at the Hilton Penthouse, and we got there a bit early to make sure we left a good impression. 30 minutes goes by after our set time to begin and we start to get worried. An hour goes by, 2 hours go by.

Just as we were ready to give up, we hear a knock at the door. We open the door to see Jerome Powell, sweating and out of breath, with a ripped up shirt and a chipped tooth. We thank him for joining us and look at each other in confusion, but we decide to go and sit down with him for the interview. 

 

Chad: So, what's it like to be the Chairman of the FED? Is it stressful? Fun? Exciting?

Jerome looks up at Chad with a blank look in his face that shows he was not listening to the question.

Jerome: Do you have a cigarette I can hold? Or 75 cents I can bring down to the bodega to buy a loosie?

Chad: Uhhh, I don't think I do, are you okay or do you think we should just reschedule this? You seem flustered and I don't want to rush this because we really want a great interview from you.

Jerome: This room is so nice, I don't think I've ever been in such a nice room. Are there any roaches or rats in here?

Chad: No, Mr. Chairman, I have not seen any rodents or insects in the penthouse since our arrival last night. 

Jerome: That's really interesting, and when your stay is over, do they have a record of you checking out?

Chad: Well yes they ha-

Jerome: How long do you think we could stay here until someone notices?

Chad: Uh, well I'm not very sure sir. Is there something wrong that you'd like to tell me?

Jerome: The blinds on the windows have been closed this entire time, right? Right?

Chad: Yes Mr. Chairman, the blinds have not been touched since you walked in this room.

 

Mr. Powell lets out a sigh of relief and returns to his chair after checking for himself and peeking out the window for a prolonged period of time.

 

Jerome: Hey, do you have a cigarette I can hold on to?

Chad: I'm sorry Mr. Chairman as I stated earlier, I do not have a cigarette that you can have. 

Jerome: Ah that's no problem, will you excuse me for a second?

 

Mr. Powell then gets up from his chair, walks to the door, and proceeds to leave the hotel room. Our team was expecting perhaps he was hungry, needed a drink of water, or wanted to go to the bathroom, so we waited for him to return. And we waited. And we waited. 30 minutes pass, 60 minutes pass, 2 hours pass, and we realize we have no choice but to give up. We pack our bags and return to our homes, stunned and confused.

We were hoping to get a more in-depth interview with Mr. Powell, but it appears that we will have to reschedule the meeting. Follow us on twitter at @WallStSupp to be notified if Mr. Powell's team decides to reach out to us and give us some form of explanation.

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